OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
You don't make any sense
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