So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
