So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
as a side note pls kill me
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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