I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
