i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
