some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
