guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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