Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My life is pants optional.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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