after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
