You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just want nice things and good sex
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
