she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
