So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
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Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
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My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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