I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
