one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
