He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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