Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
