If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
