So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
