my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
