It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
