do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
