I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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