he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Pants are for mortals
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
