Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You smell like stripper and shame
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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