Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Acid is not a monday night drug
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
