Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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