his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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