I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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