Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
