I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
