Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize