Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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