the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
