id be glad to
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
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This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
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my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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