im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
