So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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