Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
