yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We are all done wearing pants today
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
