We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
