We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
