What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
