the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
