Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
