when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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