Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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