I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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