she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
