apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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