need another drink. this is the easiest way
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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