Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
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He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
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Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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