I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
