im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Lo siento on account of my penis...
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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