tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
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how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
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you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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