I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
