I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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