Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
