I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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