I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
