Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Sober January is a disaster.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
