He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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