All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
