Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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