Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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