i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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