Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
love makes seman taste better
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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