How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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