Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
