If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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