I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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